For the past few days I have been praying a prayer called "My Daily Morning Prayer" which I used to pray every day. I had not prayed it in some time and the first couple of days it seemed rather dry and unattached. But this morning, after I prayed it, I began to pray for other things and then God reminded me that my gateway to worship is music. So I got my antique headset out (haven't joined the IPOD generation yet!) and began to listen to some music and God laid a certain person on my heart and as I prayed for this person God's presence just overwhelmed me!
It is amazing to me that if we put forth even the smallest effort, God is right there to take us into His arms and love us in the way that only He can!
No matter what happens with my surgery or my recovery thereafter, no matter what happens with our finances, no matter what happens in life; this time of being in the beautiful presence of the Lord is always waiting for me if I only take the time!
I love you Lord.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
What is this all about?
Just wondering. What has this been all about? I think everything happens for a reason Sometimes we make bad choices that lead us down a wrong path and then God does what He needs to do to get us back on track. I get that and I can look back and see how he has done that so many times in my life.
But I feel like I have been "off-track" for some time now. This thing with my foot just seems to go on and on and on. I have some plans in my head and in my heart, but to accomplish those, I have to see some healing, some end in site.
I am sure it will come. I know that God has not forgotten about me. He sees me and He knows exactly where I am in my life right now and He even sees me where I will be in the future. I have always believed that and known that. It is a core belief within me. I do not believe that God loses people. Like a doctor doing everything he or she can for someone in trouble.
I can walk away, I can shut out the beauty that is God's love within me, but He will never give up on me. I am not trying to shut Him out but I don't feel as close as I once was which is a hard thing to admit. But I am going to take the advice of a minister's words that someone shared with me this week He said "the most lasting change doesn't come when we try to do everything all at once, we can't go from 0-60 all at once, but we can go from 0-1." I am paraphrasing what I heard so it really is not a perfect quote, but it is wisdom.
So that is where I am in my life. And today I will do something that will take me from 0-1.
But I feel like I have been "off-track" for some time now. This thing with my foot just seems to go on and on and on. I have some plans in my head and in my heart, but to accomplish those, I have to see some healing, some end in site.
I am sure it will come. I know that God has not forgotten about me. He sees me and He knows exactly where I am in my life right now and He even sees me where I will be in the future. I have always believed that and known that. It is a core belief within me. I do not believe that God loses people. Like a doctor doing everything he or she can for someone in trouble.
I can walk away, I can shut out the beauty that is God's love within me, but He will never give up on me. I am not trying to shut Him out but I don't feel as close as I once was which is a hard thing to admit. But I am going to take the advice of a minister's words that someone shared with me this week He said "the most lasting change doesn't come when we try to do everything all at once, we can't go from 0-60 all at once, but we can go from 0-1." I am paraphrasing what I heard so it really is not a perfect quote, but it is wisdom.
So that is where I am in my life. And today I will do something that will take me from 0-1.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Thankful
Just normal stuff happening today. I had to see my doctor and it seems necessary for me to have another surgery (my 5th on my foot). So whatever has to happen, I am open to it. I just want the hole in my foot healed. So that is in the future. I have to see a doctor that I was referred to at Emory for a second opinion on what kind of surgery I should have.
Anyway, came home and just did some stuff around the house. Kenny and I cooked dinner together and then we all had dinner together; me, Kenny, Missy and Maddox and it just felt sweet. My family means so much to me They have seen me through so much and they haven't given up on me. How do I deserve such grace, such mercy? I know that it is not deserved and yet it has been bestowed on me. God's favor. So I know that whatever happens with me physically, I am not going through it alone God is with me and I have a family who loves me and who stand by me through it all.
I am blessed!
Anyway, came home and just did some stuff around the house. Kenny and I cooked dinner together and then we all had dinner together; me, Kenny, Missy and Maddox and it just felt sweet. My family means so much to me They have seen me through so much and they haven't given up on me. How do I deserve such grace, such mercy? I know that it is not deserved and yet it has been bestowed on me. God's favor. So I know that whatever happens with me physically, I am not going through it alone God is with me and I have a family who loves me and who stand by me through it all.
I am blessed!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Weirdness
Anyone in my family would say what weirdness are you talking about, nothing has changed. I feel like the odd man out and some of it is of my own doing and some of it is just circumstantial. I guess if I were to give it any thought, say if I had continually asked someone to do something and they continually said they couldn't for one reason or another, I would stop asking.
That is how it has been with me for a long time. Since the accident, it has been necessary for me to spend long hours alone. I am starting to get out more now, but I think I am viewed by my family as the strange one, the one you really don't want around. I seem to have lost my filter and I am told that I am loud and I know that I talk too much. I interrupt conversations but that is only because if I don't say what I am thinking at the moment I am thinking it, then I forget.
On the other hand, I am basically O.K. with the way things are. I am not in a mad love affair, although my husband and I are getting along better. But things are status quo. I can live with this. Hopefully I can go upward from here. Hopefully my doctor will find a way to get my foot healed and I can move on through physical therapy and put this behind me and get into something that I want to do.
Today has been a restful day. I took a long nap and we all had dinner as a family and it was nice I do have people who love me. All of them may not invite me to hang out, but that's OK for now.
I am O.K. Status quo...moving on..upward and onward!
That is how it has been with me for a long time. Since the accident, it has been necessary for me to spend long hours alone. I am starting to get out more now, but I think I am viewed by my family as the strange one, the one you really don't want around. I seem to have lost my filter and I am told that I am loud and I know that I talk too much. I interrupt conversations but that is only because if I don't say what I am thinking at the moment I am thinking it, then I forget.
On the other hand, I am basically O.K. with the way things are. I am not in a mad love affair, although my husband and I are getting along better. But things are status quo. I can live with this. Hopefully I can go upward from here. Hopefully my doctor will find a way to get my foot healed and I can move on through physical therapy and put this behind me and get into something that I want to do.
Today has been a restful day. I took a long nap and we all had dinner as a family and it was nice I do have people who love me. All of them may not invite me to hang out, but that's OK for now.
I am O.K. Status quo...moving on..upward and onward!
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